Substitute Teachers: I’m sure that most of you feel the same way I do when it comes to having a substitute teacher. The frustrated thoughts that run through my mind when walking into a classroom and seeing a stranger with a stressed out, I don’t want to teach attitude, but I’m stuck here, and yes, you will have to look at me for the next hour. There are two kinds of substitute teachers. The strict one that got the wrong memo that said, he or she is coming to teach a classroom of military cadets or, the one who appears to have no clarification and is clueless when it comes to teaching a lesson for one hour. Lets start with the strict Military Colonel. He or she is going to make your next hour of class time miserable. He or she will treat your classroom like a bunker, and flip everything over for poor performance. Once that’s complete, and your bunker is ransacked, attendance will begin. As each name is called out your response should be a simple here. But, there’s always one soldier who responds with a “Yup”. Your colonel will hate that and punish you with an unspeakable letter to your teacher who will return knowing you were disrespectful. As the class rolls on your duties, or mission will be assigned, but the Colonel will turn every group mission into a solo mission that will require you to complete it at 1500 hours. If you fail, you will also receive a letter stating you didn’t complete the mission. Your punishment will include probation, to be served the next day during your lunch hour, minus your lunch. Secondly, we have the substitute teacher who appears to have no clarification, and is clueless. When walking into this classroom, we find a shy looking teacher who is normally dressed comfortably. This type of substitute is none assuming. What do I mean by that you might ask? Well for starters the classroom attendance will take two to three times longer then normal. When trying to pronounce a name such as mine, Couloufis, I typically get, “ is Chris Cou…ca… lou..F..I..S, Ca.. Lou Fus…Clueless, I give up here.” And the last name game usually includes 20 of the 30 kids who have uncommon last names. That adds up to 10 minutes of mispronunciations, and class work time that will turn into homework. Once attendance is over, and you’ve fallen half asleep, the teacher who has now forgotten the class needs to be taught, begins to talk about his or hers life. A life that includes there mother, father, kids, athletic injuries that cost them a chance to play pro ball, a dream of being a musician that failed so they became a teacher. Whatever the story, you find yourself asking, “What does this have to do with school work.” Can we have the day off, what’s the point? When does the teaching start? When it does start, the students begin to ask questions. Questions the substitute cant answer. They stare at you with a blank look on their face, as if they’ve seen a ghost. We usually get stuck with homework that we don’t understand. Substitute teachers are impossible to work with.
